Tags
annoyance, apartment, dating, health, loneliness, Movies, Oregon Coast, philosophizing, road trips, shopping, spring break, The Noise, travel, weight, workout
Spring break was boring. BORRRRING, period.
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I worked the first two days and took Wed through Fri off. It was quite out of character of me to not have a plan, or to plan at the last minute, but that was exactly what I did. I knew I had to get out of town, but the destination wasn’t picked until 9pm Tuesday. Packing didn’t take much time since it was a one nighter.
The bathroom noise from a neighboring (downstairs, next-door, phantom?!) apartment is driving me insane. I am pretty sure their bathroom fan is broken, but unfortunately, not “broken broken” as in “not working”, but “working but making a racket” broken. I’ve lived here long enough to know that this is NOT the normal noise. In fact, I never heard this noise until this year. Since the source of the noise is unclear and it involves giving two of my downstairs neighbors 24 hour notice, the apartment manager wasn’t happy about taking this maintenance request. In fact, it’s been a week and nothing has been done. Typical. She even questioned the legitimacy of my request (“Why aren’t they complaining?” — Huh?! Because MY FAN is NOT BROKEN!!!) I will have to call her again to follow up, but I suspect that just like how they dealt with the bathtub issue, they are going to just ignore me and hope I will give up. The noise is so loud and powerful I am at the mercy of my neighbor’s schedule. I know exactly when they go to the bathroom, how long they stay there, and that they are night owls (turning on the fan and thus waking me up anywhere between 12am-2am). I swear, I am not going to put up with this. I will hassle (their definition for asking them, very politely and patiently, to do their job) them for two more days, and if they continue ignoring me, I am going to give them the 30-day notice and move out. Any noise is better than this noise.
So yeah, when I drove out to the Coast Wed morning, I was so aggravated that it took me the entire drive to finally calm down and relax. There is not much to say about this trip. I had low expectations because I just wanted to get away from it all, esp. The Noise. The hotel I stayed at is quite interesting. I was expecting something rather basic, bland, or rustic, but turns out, it’s elegant and charming. They have the most beautiful bathroom sink I’ve ever seen in any hotel, and to go with the nautical theme, faux-antique night-stands with aqua chipped paint (which look like old treasure chests that belong to pirates). The room is very cute, but has paper thin walls. I could hear every single word from the next room (and one of them kept coughing, either from a bad cold or from being a chain smoker). One thing that always amazes me about this country is the contradiction between people’s desire for privacy and the utter lack of it in most building (apartments, hotels, etc.) due to the thin walls and floors. Seriously, will it kill the construction companies to put an extra layer/padding?!
There was no sunrise or sunset since it was cloudy most of the time, and it actually rained from Wed afternoon to Thursday late morning. The sun finally showed its face when I started to drive home. Thanks for nothing.
But the thing that bothers me about this trip is really not the lack of awe-inspiring scenery, or the nonexistence of photographic opportunities, or even the weather. Yes, sure, those are contributing factors. But I realized that I wasn’t exactly happier after the trip because I picked the wrong place. The beach is the WORST place to go on your own (speaking for myself, of course). I rarely felt lonely on my trip last year to the Southwest because there were tons of things to do, and striking beauty in every corner I looked. The coast, esp. a familiar place like Cannon Beach (yes, very original choice, eh?), is one lousy destination for a solo traveler. I’ve seen all that I could see so there wasn’t much worthy of “exploring.” I couldn’t “lounge” on the beach whiling away the hours, because I was surrounded by people (couples, groups, families…), and just taking a stroll by the water made me feel as if I were the loneliest person on earth. I felt both completely out of place and utterly conspicuous at the same time. To put it bluntly, I felt I had the words “pathetic” and “loser” written all over me.
Despite my apprehension about being assaulted by the noise again, I still wanted to come home. My home, my castle, my little hideaway. My conclusion: I still think it’s better to travel alone than not traveling until you have a partner (who knows, what if we remain alone forever?) because I don’t want to put my life on hold, but I will never ever go to a beach (any beach) by myself, ever again. Beach is for families, lovers, or at least, friends. It’s a place where you experience the “sweetness of doing nothing” (or “L’arte di non fare niente”), with someone(s).
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After coming home, I broke down and went on a shopping spree on both Thur and Fri. I normally don’t enjoy shopping as a regular girl should, but once I embark on a mission for something specific, I could spend a lot of time in the malls/shops. I’ve been having a “pants crisis” for a while now (thanks, Brit Boy, for ruining me, not only emotionally, but also physically — I got FAT because I was so devastated). All my size 0 and 2s from Express no longer fit or are so tight they are at the risk of splitting open at the waist if I laugh too hard. MUST LOSE WEIGHT!!! Before I succeed in losing those pounds though, I need new pants (dammit dammit dammit!!!). Now I am a size 4 (from Ann Taylor whose size runs big to begin with) — not good for someone my height. I also feel really bloated and heavy and lethargic all the time so it’s not just a vanity issue, but a health issue as well.
My goal: lose 20 pounds in 2 months by:
- Eating healthy meals (small portions) and healthy snacks (fruits and nuts)
- Exercise every day; even if I can’t work up the energy to run or bike, I will at least walk for 40 minutes or more after work.
- Go to bed early and get up early to do yoga.
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Went out on a first date with a guy on Sat. He is probably the only guy I’ve met so far that actually looks YOUNGER than his pictures. In fact, he looks so youthful I felt as if I were older (although he is six years older than me). We had a very pleasant chat over coffee for 2.5 hours. He is cute and articulate and our date was much better than the one I had last month. However, I don’t think anything more will come out of it, because he didn’t ask me for my number, or mentioned hanging out again, or emailed me today. Am I disappointed? A little, since he is fun to be around and could be a great guy friend, if not a boyfriend. Am I surprised that he is not interested in me? Honestly, no, not at all. Am I bothered that I’ve lost my “mojo” and do I wonder why? No, because I’ve learned some painful, but very valuable lessons from my previous failure:
- any guy is just “a guy” until he commits to you and becomes your boyfriend; don’t put too much energy/feelings/hopes/expectations on him or the connection (before it becomes a real “relationship”) trying to decipher the minutiae, because…
- if he is interested, he will follow up; if he doesn’t, he is just not that into you;
- you can’t force attraction; and it’s NOT your fault;
- no expectation is the best policy — it keeps you sane and in control of your own emotions; s/he who cares more, loses/suffers.
- true love is not tragic or difficult; it should be easy and fun; if it’s full of angst and disappointment, it’s not right.
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Bought a pair of Vasque Mindbender trail running shoes from REI Sunday morning (I couldn’t figure out anything else to apply my 20% member discount, plus since my gym membership is running out soon and I am committed to running outdoors, I do need them).
Watched The Fighter w/ GS Sunday afternoon. I didn’t want to watch it at first because I am not into boxing movies, but it is actually pretty good. Gritty, as expected, but surprisingly funny and moving, too.
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And just like that, spring break 2011 is over. Sigh…
