Around midnight last night, I finally finished Breaking Dawn, and thus, concluded my obsessive journey with the vampires, werewolves (or rather, shape-shifters), and (fellow) humans. I have never read anything that I feel so conflicted about. It’s a rather jarring experience.
Emotionally, I loved it. It was addictive. I buried myself in the books during most of my free time and had to summon every ounce of my willpower to put down the book from time to time so I could take care of my mundane human needs (sleeping, working, shopping, household chores…). I could picture all the characters clearly in my head, seeing the slightest change of expression the way Bella did. I was genuinely happy that nobody (significant) died at the end and everybody got exactly what they wanted.
Intellectually, I had quite a few objections (or suspicions). I have never regarded myself as a feminist, but this kind of story is truly corrupting to the mind, especially, that of an impressionable teenage girl. It feeds into the fantasy that a woman is not “whole” on her own and can’t live without love (or a man in her life, as she was pretty much a zombie without either Edward or Jacob), that you can do stupid things in the name of love (or loss of love) without consequences because you will still be saved by a secret admirer (or two), that you need “permission” from your boyfriend to do things (e.g., visiting Jacob), that the only way out of the drudgeries of life is to be swooped away by Prince Charming… the list goes on.
Bella was emotionally insecure, physically clumsy, socially awkward, and as she described herself, “mediocre” in every possible way. And yet, she snagged (without any conscious effort on her part, or possessing any extraordinary personality traits) the most aloof, elusive, gorgeous, rich, smart, boy, who fell in love with and became devoted to her with an out-of-this-world passion that defied reason, separation, or death. That begs the question: if Bella didn’t smell that outrageously delicious to him, and/or if he could read her mind to see that she was just as infatuated with him as any common Jane out there on the street, would he have loved her the same way? Bella idolized The Cullens, especially Edward. She was drawn to him like a satellite orbiting its planet; she observed, intently, his every move and every mercurial change of mood, and responded to it in an earnest effort to please him. She had no real human friends because, well, she despised them and their small town friendliness. She had no other interests outside of reading gothic romance (Wuthering Heights) and zero desire to have any kind of future except for being with HIM. Her life revolved around him – college was plan B and being a vampire was plan A. Insecurity and arrogance are often twins, and Bella was no exception: she was, underneath it all, an egotist (self-centered and narcissistic). Meyer must have projected because honestly in real life I can’t fathom how someone like Bella could be attractive to anybody, human or vampire.
But of course, who wouldn’t want to be a vampire, after Meyer’s adoring and painstakingly detailed depiction of The Cullens: immortality (esp. staying under 20 forever), beauty, and ability(-ies) – the holy trinity of a PERFECT existence. Honestly, with the “vegetarian lifestyle”, there is really NO downside to being a vampire. There are few (and very manageable) “sacrifices” (okay, more like “minor inconveniences”). Who wouldn’t want to be one? Sign me up already!!!
Eclipse is my least liked book in this saga. God, it irritated the hell out of me that Bella was so “fragile”, needy and clingy, while Edward extremely moody, possessive and controlling. He hovered over her as if she were a misbehaving child or a brittle china/glass doll. Some kind of complex?
And the writing… It’s easy, pretty, at times funny, and intimate. Since all stories are narrated in first person in a straightforward linear sequence, and in vivid details, sometimes I felt as if I were reading a girl’s blog/diary. It’s almost voyeuristic. However, the language gets old soon: can someone please count how many times these words were used: glower, scowl, growl, roll my/his/her eyes, flex his/her/ jaw… Seriously, it got on my nerves. And enough of the cringe-worthy “HE IS SOOOO PERFECT AND HE LOVES ME BUT WHAT DOES HE SEE IN ME OH I NEED YOU TO CONFIRM AGAIN AND AGAIN THAT YOU REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE ME OH MY UNDYING LOVE” rambling. The Harry Potter series has 7 books, but I never felt that the writing gets anywhere as trite, repetitive or predictable.
Which brings me to the final verdict: the new Harry Potter? Puh-leeeese!!! They are not even in the same league! HP has a more complex, intricate, and utterly original story, a more interesting group of characters with greater depths (while in the Twilight Saga, Bella is insufferable, Edward bores me to tears; most characters, including most of the Cullens, forgettable; Alice and Jacob are the only two that bring some real life and dynamic to the story), a more layered theme (good vs. evil, and many shades of gray in between), and as I mentioned before, much better writing.
So why is this such a compulsive read, even for me, apparently, an overanalyzing cynic? Because this is romantic fantasy to the extreme. It has a vampire of a shell, but in the core it’s a teenage version of the kind of trashy romance you see in grocery/book store paperback section where a half-naked hunk with long flowing wavy hair embraces a striking but “helpless” damsel-in-distress. It gives most of us (girls at least) what we want (or culturally conditioned to want): beautiful people, over-the-top romance, happily ever after (and forever) despite some setbacks, and most of all, an escape for any common Plain Jane out there (we prob. will never graduate from the puny ordinary Human Bella to become the powerful ravishing Vampire Bella, and we prob. will never get to experience a thrilling but ultimately victorious journey , so we can’t help but being sucked into it like moth to fire, or stardust to a black hole, living vicariously through Bella, even though we – or at least I – will never want to be like her). It’s a drug, it takes you to places; it’s saccharine, it makes you feel good… and then you open your eyes, and you wonder, “wow, what just happened here?”
The Twilight saga doesn’t strive to be profound, inspiring, or life-changing. It’s what it is: a happy pill, a big tub of full fat ice cream; it’s something that you know is not good for your health but you want it just the same. Read it for what it is; just don’t think too much and everything will be rosy and sweet, even in the afterglow.